inmemoryof Sometimes the anger just creeps up on me

I try to keep my attitude light and my funkiness to a minimum. I have to work at not getting caught in the cycle of “what if”…

…what if I never got breast cancer?
…what if I decided not to be treated?
…what if there was a cure?

Those questions — and the hundreds that follow and spin-off from them — are dangerous territory.

Read More » images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT7NCe1f1dj0GrerpRklxQOJYtzmv1D1AqpKZpTXqqqZSm_4dFjzw Will yoga help me deal with the aftermath of breast cancer?

I will admit it. I am a damn mess. Ugh. I hate it. I like to believe that I am all together, doing the right thing at all times. I don’t like to let people know that I have my bad days… or if I do let them know that, I really don’t tell them just how bad those bad days really are. It ain’t right, but its me in all my honesty right now.

Read More » Struggling%2BWith%2BAnger...Still Struggling with anger... still

*Update: June 2016 – When I wrote this post originally in 2010, I was mourning the deaths of my cousin and a woman who was like a grandmother to me. I was angry about being diagnosed with breast cancer and being forced to endure 2+ years of treatment to get my life back. Most days I handled it all in stride but this particular day I was just mad as hell.

Read More » Next%2Blifetime...%2B(1) Next lifetime, I wanna be a blue/green eyed white girl

**UPDATE:  11/2014

When I shared these thoughts, I was starting my third month of chemotherapy. I was exhausted. Sick of being sick. Angry. Sooo very angry. I was trying to hold it together but I cried almost incessantly. The heartbreak was getting to me. The realization of how bad my cancer was had finally hit me and I was scared and angry. This post is one of my angry rants that I was too afraid to say out loud to anyone I loved.

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